Blame It On The Shame Part 2 Read online

I guess there's only one way to find out.

  But instead of being a bitch, I'm going to do something shocking.

  I'm going to be nice to the girl.

  Being nice to her, will serve two purposes. One, Ricardo will probably be proud of me. And two, if I'm nice, she's liable to give away why she's really here.

  Of course, if she doesn't...I'll just test her.

  I tap my fingers against my chin as I try and think of a good way to do that. Duh, I'll just tell her it's a job requirement to sleep with a member of the fight club.

  My first instinct is to tell her she's supposed to sleep with Luke...because if she's willing to sleep with him— she definitely has an ulterior motive for being here.

  I shudder and immediately take back that plan...I might be a bitch but I'm not that mean.

  Besides, the poor girl already looks freaked the fuck out about being here. Which is kind of odd if you ask me.

  Hmm, who can I tell her she has to sleep with? Decisions, decisions.

  Normally I'd say Tyrone...but now that we've become friends, I know he's still not over his ex, Shelby. And call me crazy...but I'm hoping they'll find their way back to one another.

  A-ha. I almost break out into a full-on grin when the idea hits me.

  Jackson.

  He's the perfect choice...for two reasons.

  The first—dude needs to get laid. Someone as hot as he is should not be walking around looking and acting so angry and brooding all the time.

  Hell, maybe if he gets his dick wet, he'll stop hating me so much.

  The second—Blondie's going to have to put in some major effort to sleep with Jackson.

  There's no way she'd be willing to put in that amount of effort if she wasn't here for another reason.

  Then again? There's always what's behind secret door number three. Once she hears that she's required to sleep with a fighter, she could hightail it the fuck out of here...never to be heard from again.

  I like that option best.

  I don't need the drama of having another ring girl around...I've got it by the bucket loads already.

  I lean back and pop my knuckles nervously...how the hell am I going to be nice?

  I'm already feeling threatened by her presence and that means my claws are out.

  Ricardo hasn't quite ridden me of that habit yet.

  But then again, if I'm nice to her, Ricardo will know that I at least tried.

  I take a breath and try and relax my shoulders. I can do this.

  I suddenly bristle. No, I can't do this. I have no idea how the fuck to do this.

  Being around females has never been my forte and most females hate me.

  Fake it until you make it, right?

  I turn around to face her. "Hi," I say, my tone unusually upbeat. "How are you, girlfriend?"

  Christ, I sound like one of the girls from the movie Clueless.

  She opens her mouth and I think she's going to say something snarky but instead, she gives me a small wave. "Hi. I'm Alyssa. I'm the new ring girl."

  Like hell you are.

  I point to her uniform and give her a big smile. "Green's going to look great with those hazel eyes of yours."

  Oh, that was good. And it's not exactly a lie, the girl is pretty and the green will enhance her eyes. This isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

  "Um...thanks. Your uniform really brings out your—" She sweeps a hand up and down. "Assets as well."

  I can't tell if she's making a dig at the fact that my assets are small...or the fact that our uniforms only cover slightly more than a band-aid and dental floss would.

  When I raise an eyebrow she says, "I-I mean, I'll be showing half my ass out there. Who designed these uniforms?"

  "Men," I tell her, deadpan.

  At this, she laughs and I realize she wasn't making a personal dig at me, just the lousy uniform.

  For a moment, I almost feel bad about what I'm going to have to do; but so be it. She's way too nervous...something's up with her.

  "You should probably change, the fight will be starting in a little while."

  When she walks back out and stands beside me in front of the mirror, I channel my inner peppy valley girl.

  I flip my hair over my shoulder and ruffle her hair. "We're like totally salt and peppa," I squeak. "The guys are totally gonna love us."

  Good god, I want to kick my own ass right now.

  She ignores me and stays silent as she applies bronzer to her cheeks.

  Well, fuck you too, bitch. Time for damage control.

  I start walking toward the door and that's when she looks at the clock on the wall. "Shit, is it time already?"

  I pop my gum and giggle. "No, silly. We need to take care of the fighters before the match."

  She blanches. "Take care of them...how?"

  I give her a wink. "Use your imagination, girlfriend."

  She looks horrified and I can't help but continue. "You're lucky. You're wearing green. That means you have Jackson...he's like mega hot. I mean, I've never been given the chance to try him out, but God, what I'd give to one day."

  I fan myself for dramatic effect. "I'm stuck with some guy who's good-looking, but dumb as a box of rocks."

  Yeah, that's completely false. Ricardo's ridiculously smart...but I don't want her going near him. Because if she does? I can't be held accountable for my actions.

  Interesting. Although she looks like she's going to puke right now, she doesn't leave like I hoped she would.

  I twist my hair around my finger and take another step toward the door. "See ya in a half hour, babes," I call out before I leave.

  Turns out I didn't have to work so hard to get her to leave after all...Luke ended up firing her.

  I'll admit, I was ready to go toe-to-toe with him because he didn't help her when some jerk in the crowd groped her.

  Thank god Tyrone was close by and hauled her out of there.

  Strangest thing of all? Jackson got hit for the first time in the cage tonight...because he was distracted and worried about her.

  Hell, he even scaled the damn cage trying to protect her.

  I don't know what the hell she managed to do to him while in that dressing room, but my suspicions were right about her.

  And if I'm being honest?

  There's a tiny part of me that's a bit jealous...because the look in Jackson's eyes was like nothing I've ever seen before.

  But then again, she looks as pure as the driven snow...right down to her blonde hair and hazel eyes.

  Of course, guys go crazy over girls like her.

  Ricardo says he loves me and I know I love him...but there will always be a small part of me that doubts his love for me because of who I really am inside.

  Not to mention the elephant in the room between us.

  DeLuca will be coming back from Italy.

  I've already come to terms with the fact that there's no way Ricardo will be able to come up with a plan to get me to stay.

  Because the reality is...there is no plan great enough for that to happen. I've been wracking my brain each and every night trying to come up with one and I've got nothing.

  My heart belongs to Ricardo, but the rest of me belongs to DeLuca.

  I'll have no choice but to go back to him...there's no way Ricardo would put Jackson and Tyrone in harm’s way.

  He will always choose them. And while I understand and I'll never blame him for that...it does make me feel like I'm second best.

  Sometimes even further down the list.

  And that feeling? Is why I'm currently in a horrible mood at the moment.

  Ricardo studies my face."What is going on with you?"

  "Nothing...just tired is all," I lie. Then I remember. "So, why didn't you tell me you hired a new ring girl?"

  He gives me a peculiar look. "I didn't. I was just as surprised as you were to see her. That's why I had Luke fire her."

  He takes a breath and averts his gaze. "Then I punched him in the face for not
helping her," he mumbles.

  I try not to let my jealousy get even more out of control with that comment. The girl was being assaulted after all.

  Had I not been on the sidelines of the cage I would have punched the bastard myself.

  "The only person who could have hired her was DeLuca and he would have told me—" He stops mid-sentence appearing to be lost in thought. "Shit, maybe he did."

  "You don't remember DeLuca telling you he hired a new ring girl?"

  He slowly drags his gaze up and down my body and I feel my temperature skyrocket. "I was a little distracted during our last conversation."

  He jerks his head to the side and the moment between us is lost. "I'll have to ask Luke how she got here. He's been getting a little too big for his britches since DeLuca's been gone, thinking he's second in command or some shit. For all I know, he could have hired her."

  "I wouldn't put it past him," I note. "She's pretty and Luke's a perv."

  He opens his mouth to say something but his phone rings. He pinches the bridge of his nose and I already know it's DeLuca.

  Ricardo puts him on speakerphone. "Who the fuck was that girl in the cage tonight?" DeLuca screams. "I swear to god, if she's another one of your goddamned whores again you'll be sorry. That bitch almost cost me a shitload of money with her little stunt—"

  Whoa...he's angry.

  "Calm down, Babbo," Ricardo roars. "Christ, I have no idea who she is or how she got hired in the first place. Luke must have hired her without running it by me first. I told you, he's making moves by himself lately and I don't like it."

  "Shit," DeLuca mutters.

  "Don't worry. I had him fire the girl. She won't be a problem anymore."

  "And what about Jackson," DeLuca sneers.

  I see the hairs on Ricardo's neck stand up and I sit up in my seat. "What about him?" Ricardo bites out.

  "He got punched in the face tonight."

  Ricardo throws his hands up. "Jesus, DeLuca. You can't seriously be mad about one punch to the fucking face in three years. He's never even been hit before. He still won the fight and you still made your money."

  "I don't want him to make it a habit is all I'm saying," DeLuca grumbles.

  "It's my job to make sure our guys win the fight," Ricardo says. "You can't expect them not to get hit. It's the name of the game."

  DeLuca mumbles something under his breath before barking, "How's Lucianna?"

  "She's fine. She's sleeping on the couch."

  "Make sure she's eating. She looked too skinny on camera tonight."

  I make a face and Ricardo shakes his head and laughs. "Look, I'm only supposed to make sure she's safe. She's 24, she's perfectly capable of feeding herself. Why don't you pass the message along to her? It's bad enough she's ruining my social life by sleeping on my couch every night and I have to see her all the time. What the hell was the point of leasing her an apartment?"

  I flip him the bird and he blows me a kiss.

  DeLuca mutters a string of curses before finally hanging up.

  "Thanks," I say. "Now he'll be calling my phone and harassing me."

  "Well, you're the one who said we need to keep having him think we don't get along, remember?" he tosses back.

  As if on cue, my phone rings. "Hi, mio amore," I answer.

  "I thought you were sleeping?"

  "I was sleeping but your son just woke me up and shoved a plate of pasta in my face. Prick."

  DeLuca sighs. "He's only doing what I asked him to do. You really need to start eating more and taking care of yourself. I don't like the way you looked tonight. The bags under your eyes were worse than usual and you looked too damn skinny. Fix yourself, Lucianna."

  Ricardo's hands clench at his sides but I give him a warning glance.

  Then, I put my head between my legs and force myself to breathe so I don't go off on DeLuca myself. "Gee, thanks."

  "Stop being so sensitive, Bambina. I need you nice and healthy for when I get back." Before I can question him about that statement, he says, "Now go back to bed and get some sleep. I love you."

  I force back the vomit from those words and Ricardo's jaw hardens. "Goodnight," I whisper.

  "Goodnight what?"

  "Goodnight, mio amore," I say before hanging up the phone.

  After a few moments, I look up at Ricardo. "Do you think I'm too skinny?"

  "You're perfect," he says quickly. A little too quickly.

  I throw a pillow at him. "Well, if that wasn't an automatic response, I don't know what was."

  He kneels down in front of me and lifts my chin. "Truth?"

  When I nod he says, "I'll always think you're beautiful. Whether you're 100lbs or 500lbs. I'll always crave every single inch of your body."

  He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and his gaze softens."Another truth? DeLuca's not exactly wrong—you really haven't been sleeping lately. I feel you tossing and turning in my arms and I know it's not caused by your nightmares. It's caused by the stress of our situation. I know you're worried about going back to him." His voice drops to a whisper. "I'll figure it all out, baby. You just have to trust me."

  "I know. I'm trying to. I just—" I can barely control the shaking in my voice. "I'm just trying to be a realist here."

  And I'm trying to deal with the fact that I'll always be second best—all while knowing we can't be together once DeLuca comes back.

  He gives me a weird look, but I need a distraction so I pull him into a kiss. He moves beside me on the couch and I don't hesitate to straddle him and take off his shirt.

  I run my hands over his delectable tight abs and just when I'm hoping he'll let me pleasure him for once—someone's pounding on the front door.

  "Yoo-hoo. Ricky Ricardooooo, I know you're in there. Open up," Tyrone says in a mock Spanish accent.

  "Sometimes I don't know who's timing is worse—him or Momma," Ricardo mutters under his breath.

  I hop off his lap and follow him to the front door.

  "Don't worry, I'll get rid of him," he says.

  I'm about to tell him that it's fine but when he opens the front door...I see who's standing in the hallway.

  What the hell is she doing here?

  I prop a hand on my hip and stare her down. "Peppa? I thought you got canned?"

  Dammit, I think she's supposed to be salt. Whatever, what's she's really supposed to be is gone.

  This chick has caused enough problems tonight. This is the last thing we need right now.

  She lunges toward me and it takes everything in me not to knock her the hell out.

  "Number one, I have blonde hair, you idiot," she screams. "Number two—you're a bitch. Thanks a lot for lying to me about our 'job description'. I can't believe I almost slept with him!"

  She did not just call me an idiot and a bitch in the same sentence.

  And what the hell? It's not my fault she almost slept with Jackson...I don't control her vagina.

  But maybe Jackson does, considering the pair of handcuffs she's sporting at the moment.

  Either way, she has no right to blame me for any of this...it's not like I held a gun to her damn head.

  I cackle and am delighted when her nostrils flare. "I didn't tell you to do anything you didn't want to do in the first place. I know a slut when I see one. Not my fault you fell for the trap and showed your true colors." I motion to the handcuffs she's wearing."Puttana."

  Ricardo reaches for his shirt. "Whoa, ladies. That's enough," he snaps.

  Seriously? He's not even going to take my side?

  Before I know what's happening, she lunging at me again and this time, she headbutts me.

  "Go home, Lou-Lou," Jackson barks.

  I open my mouth to tell him his new girlfriend is a freaking lunatic but Ricardo leans over and whispers, "Go. We'll talk later," in my ear.

  Yup, should have seen that coming. So much for being a team.

  I don't even realize I'm sniffling until I walk down the hallway and into my apartment.
r />   Chapter 3 (Ricardo)

  I watch as Jackson ushers the very same girl who managed to piss off DeLuca tonight into his kitchen.

  When he holds an ice pack up to her head, I want to be a dick and say there would be no need for him to do that if she didn't go bat shit crazy and attack my girl.

  But I can't because I need to figure out why she's here in the first place.

  Fuck. I'm really hoping Jackson hasn't developed some type of crush on her because that shit will not go over well.

  "So, why exactly, do you have the same girl from earlier tonight standing in your apartment, Jackson?"

  I can't help but notice the pair of handcuffs around her wrists."Handcuffed, no less," I add.

  I take a step closer and she gives me a look of annoyance.

  That's when I notice her eyes.

  Jesus, it's like I'm staring at a ghost. This can't be fucking happening.

  Before I can stop myself, I'm whispering, "I've seen you before."

  "Yeah," she says softly while looking down at her feet.

  Relief flows through me because there's no doubt in my mind that if she knew who I really was...she wouldn't be sitting here so calm.

  She'd be stabbing me with a fucking butcher knife and I couldn't blame her.

  The hair bristles on the back of my neck because something inside me is telling me that it is her.

  I roll my shoulders and force the thought out of my head. No, it can't be her. She'd be an idiot to ever walk into DeLuca's club.

  She flew under DeLuca's radar once...she won't be so lucky next time.

  Question is...why is she still hanging around Jackson?

  Maybe she's using him?

  If that's the case, the quicker I get her out of here and away from Jackson the better everything will be. "I have a blowtorch, I'll be right back."

  She sprouts up from her chair. "A blowtorch. No. Fuck, no!" she screams.

  I curse under my breath when I see Jackson run a hand along her cheek and she leans into his touch. "Look, I promise, I won't let him hurt you. It's the only way to get those off, though," he says.

  I walk back to my apartment and get my blowtorch, along with a pair of gloves and my welder's helmet. I briefly contemplate stopping by Lou-Lou's apartment, but I need to take care of this first.